Rules

Well, it has been months since my first "musing," and ideas have come and gone for what to write about. I intended to write more often, but, as usual, there always seems to be something else to do, and I feel guilty when I think about wasting my time writing about nothing. (I have no problem wasting the time reading, tinkering with my computer, or watching TV, though. In other words, I am rationalizing my procrastination.) But here I am on a plane to Salt Lake City, and there is one topic that has been on my mind regularly.

When I was first hired at Missouri Southern, I was asked in an interview for the campus newspaper The Chart, what my philosophy of life is. I said that it was that one could never have too many T-shirts.

It was a silly question, and a sillier answer.

I don't really have just one philosophy of life. I think life is too short to spend it doing things you hate. I think that the most important things in life are the people you love and the time that you get to spend with them. I think that there is no reason for people to be inconsiderate to each other, but that "political correctness" is not the way to accomplish this. And I think that good rules should be followed, and that bad rules should be changed rather than ignored.

Apparently I hold a minority opinion in this area.

Take Major League Baseball, for example. The rules state that when the baseball is put into play, a "force out" occurs when the defensive player obtains possession of the ball and touches a base before the runner (having no open bases behind him) reaches the base. If the ball and runner arrive simultaneously, or if the ball arrives after the runner reaches the base, the runner is safe.

However, the rule should really have an additional statement, namely, that if the ball arrives just a little bit after the runner, the runner is still out if the defensive player made a really good play. After all, that’s what really happens.

The rules used to state that a pitched ball was a strike if it crossed over home plate at a height above the batter’s knees and below his armpits. However, umpires routinely modified the "strike zone" to be above the ankles and below the waist. Realizing this inconsistency, MLB changed the rule to something like "from the knees to halfway between the armpits and the letters on the chest of the uniform." This change had no effect.

The rule should state that a strike is a pitched baseball that crosses the plate in a region that the umpire feels is close enough to the defined strike zone; that each umpire is entitled to his own definition of close enough; that he does not have to share his definition with anyone; and that he is free to change it at any time, during or between games.

Maybe this is the real problem with having rules that actually mean what they say… they don't sound like rules any more!

Rules shouldn’t depend on who is enforcing them at any given time. They should apply at any time, to anyone. That’s my philosophy.

Speed limits in America are not really limits at all. They’re suggested minimum speeds. (That is, unless you are driving on the weekend or in farm country, in which case they are unattainable maxima.) Speedy checkout lanes are for people purchasing 10 items or less, or for anyone else who is really in a hurry. Homework due dates are absolute, except for students who had to work late the night before.

I remember a course in which I was supposed to keep a journal. I didn't. This meant regular writing, and as evidenced by the span of time between this musing and the last, writing regularly is not a strong point of mine. So, I handed in a late, sloppy, pieced-together document toward the end of the course, along with a note to the instructor stating that he should give me the grade I deserved. He did. It was a "D," and I accepted it without complaint. I didn't follow the rules, and I paid the consequences. (I later retook the course from an instructor who did not assign journals and earned an "A.")

Maybe there are more people who feel as I do about rules, but if so, I don't know them, or they must keep silent about their feelings.

Recently a study was performed to try to discern why the stretch of Interstate 44 near Joplin has recently been the site of so many fatal accidents. While no one reason was given, one conclusion that was reached was that reducing the speed limit would be a bad idea, because it would increase the difference in speeds among vehicles on the road. This conclusion assumes that people will ignore the speed limit. What is wrong with this picture? What would be wrong with assigning actual, reasonable, speed limits, and expecting people not to exceed them by even one mile per hour? Instead of a 25 mph limit on a residential street, change it to 35 mph, and give tickets at 36.

It’s a different philosophy, isn't it? I think that there are too many incentives in our society for trying to "get away with something." But there’s a topic for another time…

As far as my career goes, I think I ended up in the right discipline. Science has rules that are followed by all (or nearly all) in the scientific community. If you don't follow the scientific method, your conclusions carry no weight. There are rules for nomenclature of chemicals that everyone in the world agrees to use. The laws of physics cannot be disobeyed, and scientists spend careers trying to figure out what the rules are. If an experimental result or observation is inconsistent with the rule (law, theory), and if the result can be confirmed to be replicable, then the rule is changed to incorporate the new piece of data. The statement goes, "the exception proves the rule," but the exception is itself a rule and also a measure of our incomplete understanding of the nature of the universe. Science is based on the discovery, creation, modification, revision, and application of rules.

I guess that what I have discovered about myself in the course of writing this musing is that I wish that the rest of society could work more like science does. And I suppose that that discovery shouldn't surprise me. I think I may have just modified my philosophy of life.

My New Life

Originally written August 26, 2002

Well, here goes. I’m not sure if my new life will involve writing more, but I’d like to hope so. I think about writing a lot, I just don’t actually DO it. Now with a little extra personal motivation, I begin, and write about the source of that motivation.

What does “my new life” mean? My life is new every day, or at least that’s how I choose to think about it. But most recently, my new life revolves around my new daughter, Audrey Marie Garoutte, age 14 weeks. I have been catching myself thinking, “I love my new life. Thank you, God, for giving us a wonderful daughter,” while sitting quietly at home, driving to work… whenever I have a spare moment.

There is a story here. I just don’t know where to start.

Susan and I always knew we wanted to have children. I don’t think she knew how important it was for me. I think that men—some consciously, some not—see in their chosen mates their possible offspring from day one. I always wanted Susan to have our baby. I wanted her genes in that little package, and if some of mine had to be dragged along, then so be it. And I always talked about having a “little Susan.” Yes, I hoped we would have a girl. It’s not politically correct to say that, and I didn’t say it to anyone before she was born, but I guess it’s OK to say so now. And we are led to believe that most men want to have a son. There’s a topic for another time. Of course, now that we have Audrey, we know that she is not a “little Susan” any more than she is a “little Michael.” She is her own person, and we started getting to know her months before she was born. But I digress…

Here’s an example of my new life. What was my day like today? Susan and I woke up about 6:30 or 6:45. No alarm clocks, we just woke up. Now there’s a change from a few months ago. And no, the baby wasn’t up yet. We took advantage of the freedom to have a little time to ourselves. Fifteen or twenty minutes later, Audrey was up and we started the day for real. I showered while Susan nursed her. Susan showered while I fed her some formula. Susan took her to daycare as I went to the office.

I had a good day at work. I’ve been in a good mood since school started, actually.

I had to leave a meeting at 5:30 that could have been over, but wasn’t, to get to the daycare by 6:00. Audrey hadn’t slept since 2:20, I discovered, so she fell asleep in the car. At home, I transferred her to the crib and she slept for half an hour.

Here’s the good part. She woke up at 6:30, and as usual, cried some. I went in to get her, and, again as usual, she stopped crying and smiled at me. I could stop right there. I don’t need any other reasons for having children than that. That smile could carry me for weeks.

So I picked her up, took her into the living room, and put her in the new “seat on a spring” that a patient of Susan’s gave us a couple of days ago. (An aside—having kids is a great way to see the generous side of humanity. Everyone loves a baby, and they all give you stuff.) What this is is a chair held up by three straps. These straps are connected to a spring, which is connected to another strap, which connects to something like crawdad pincers which hooks over the molding at the top of a doorway. Cool, huh? Well, Audrey can’t even sit up on her own yet, but she can hold up her head, and she has strength in her legs.

So I put her in this seat, and just watched. The entertainment value is amazing. Forget TV; babies are it. Especially your own.

For about 15 minutes she sat in this chair. Right away she figured out that moving her feet was causing her to spin around. But I was waiting for her to start bouncing up and down. I didn’t expect her to get it right away, and she didn’t, but she loves bouncing on my knee, and I was sure she would like this seat too. Well, pretty soon she figured out, sort of, that lifting up her legs made her bounce a little. She squealed with delight. Wow! This was so neat to watch that I had to call Susan at work and tell her, and let her hear the squeals. Audrey couldn’t repeat the bouncing at will, but she did it a few times before she got frustrated that her legs weren’t doing quite what she wanted them too and started getting fussy (about the time I got Susan on the phone).

Then it was bath time, dinnertime, and bedtime for her. Susan got home about halfway through dinnertime.

So now, after our dinner (thank God for leftovers and a wife who knows how to plan ahead) and after reading through the issue of PC magazine that arrived in today’s mail, I have time to write this. Its now 9:43, and Susan told me she was getting ready for bed 45 minutes ago. I’ll follow her shortly.

So my new life includes most of the same things as before, and they are all just as important to me as they were before. I just have a new priority added at the top of the list. And I wouldn’t change that for anything.

If you have kids, then you probably understand exactly what I am talking about. Even if you don’t, imagine the joy at watching a new little person discover everything about the world from scratch. That those things in front of her face are actually her hands, and that she can hold them in that place for as long as she wants to study their form and function. That she can make herself bounce in a chair by picking up her legs. Her whole world is confined to the room she is in, and we get to watch as it, and she, grows and grows. And maybe we can make her world better than ours is.

Honors Convocation Speech

This is the text of a speech I gave at the MSSC Honors Convocation on May 1, 2002. I was the chair of the Honors Convocation Committee, and as such had the privilege of addressing the honorees and their guests.

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All of us here on stage—and your peers, instructors, families and friends in the audience—have gathered here for the same reason: to honor you, our outstanding graduates. We are here to recognize you and your success at Missouri Southern.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Self-trust is the first secret of success.” On the other hand, he also said, “Another success is the post-office, with its educating energy augmented by cheapness and guarded by a certain religious sentiment in mankind.” Perhaps the post office has changed.

Barbra Streisand once said, “Success to me is having ten honeydew melons, and eating only the top half of each one.”

As I talk to you this morning, I would like you to keep in the back of your mind two concepts: success, and change—two perhaps seemingly unrelated concepts. I believe that both are relevant to this audience.

Twenty-five years ago, the first annual Missouri Southern Honors Convocation was held. It was instituted by the faculty to honor our outstanding students and to encourage underclassmen to aspire to excellence.

Sixteen years ago, an anxious seventeen-year-old started school here at Missouri Southern. His mother bought him sheets for the dormitory-sized beds and helped him move into a room in Richard M. Webster Hall.

Fifteen years ago, a busy young student was often found carrying his 5 ¼” floppy disk to the Learning Center on the third floor of Spiva Library, where he would use that disk to boot up an IBM PC, write an English paper or laboratory report, and print it out on a 9-pin dot-matrix printer. Or he might even use a typewriter.

Thirteen years ago, an anxious young man sat in the audience in this auditorium, participating in the Missouri Southern Honors Covocation, just as you are today, and planning to attend graduate school. He was uncertain about his future, but happy that the school he had chosen for his graduate work was close enough to his girlfriend to allow him to see her on a regular basis.

Eleven years ago, an anxious young man walked down the aisle and married his college sweetheart.

Six years ago, a young college teacher changed jobs, happy to take a new position at Missouri Southern State College.

A few minutes ago, a thirty-something college teacher began his remarks, while anxiously awaiting the imminent birth of his and his wife’s first child.

I would call each step in this story one of change, and of success. Since it is my story, I am free to do that. I am not sure how much of that success is due to my own choices, fate, or gifts from God. But I am free to decide for myself my own definition of success. So is Barbra Streisand. And so are you.

At Missouri Southern State College, many things have changed in the last twenty-five years. Our freshmen have never seen a 5 ¼” floppy disk. We have a new Webster Hall, and the dormitory has a new name.

Many things have not changed. We are here today to honor our outstanding graduates, just as was done twenty-five years ago. You can be proud of the successes that you have achieved so far. And perhaps you are not sure where your future will lead you.

So students, as your lives move on to the next stage—and as I congratulate you on your success at Missouri Southern—I encourage you to trust in yourself. Keep striving for success. And as you do, each line in your story will be a story of change.

What will you be doing ten years from now? Will you have succeeded in your current goals? Perhaps you will … or perhaps you will have decided upon an entirely different path. Choose wisely, and again, trust in yourself. No matter where your choices take you, remember that it is all right to change your definition of success. As long as you are happy with your choices, you will succeed.